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<ELLIOTTCABLE>
hi
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<gnomon>
hi
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gnomon: hi!
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, hullo there! Happy 2017!
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
heh indeed
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
anybody here considering attending the Wontfix_ Cabal?
<gnomon>
Was ist das?
<gkatsev>
I would but it's in SF and I'm unlikely to go there just for this
<ljharb>
what is "wontfix_ cabal"
* fujisan
: ' I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. '
<gnomon>
fujisan, no no no, that's all wrong. Ol' Trumpy's going to swagger up to the lectern, wink, put his hand on his chest, and proclaim "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good". The press will go wild, the Harry Potter fans will go bonkers, and he'll waltz into the office before anyone notices he didn't do the damn thing he was required to do. Rinse and repeat.
<fujisan>
ELLIOTTCABLE: HAPPY NEW YEAR
<fujisan>
I HEARD trump is going to take all ghettos and relocate them to the moon and then built a wall
<fujisan>
HAPPY GREGORIAN CALENDAR WORSHIPPING YEAR
<fujisan>
A CALENDAR INTRODUCED BY POPE GREGORIUS THE XIII IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 1582( JULIAN CALENDAR)
<fujisan>
ThE Revisedย Julianย calendar uses even more complex rules to determine when to add a leap day. With an error of only about two seconds per year (or one day in 31,250 years), it is roughly 10 times more accurate than today's Gregorian calendar and one of the most accurate calendar systems ever devised. However, it is not used by any country, only by certain
<fujisan>
orthodox churches.
<fujisan>
WHY NOT GET A SECULAR CALENDAR
<fujisan>
IT'S THE YEAR 5777 FOR THE JEWS
<fujisan>
CHRISTIANS ARE LIVING IN THE PAST
* gnomon
offers fujisan a cup of decaf
<gnomon>
and a caps lock key
<fujisan>
hehe
<fujisan>
man ever since I got this job
<fujisan>
my life has been rough
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
ugh
<gnomon>
fujisan, why's that?
<fujisan>
I really need to learn how to get money by being selfemployed
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
I have a date with @slimegirlfriend tonight I am v v nervous
<fujisan>
ELLIOTTCABLE: you have a gf?
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gkatsev: I kinda just wanna drive Highway 1 in my Model X, imma b real
<fujisan>
ELLIOTTCABLE: you surprise me
<fujisan>
I thought you were a forever alone guy like me
<jfhbrook>
slimegirlfriend sounds like something from 90s nickelodeon
<fujisan>
my sister has six kids and she called me a forever alone guy
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
ljharb: a conference specifically directed at you, tbh
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, oh hey! Good stuff! Do you (plural) have anything planned?
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
It's for project maintainers and community organizers
<fujisan>
I'm so afraid to have sex with a woman I know how much you have to pay in childsupport per month I helped people with debts and kids in the past
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gnomon: me plural? I'm a singular system, afaik
<fujisan>
can be as much as 500 euros a month
<fujisan>
per child
<jfhbrook>
that's what's stopping you?
<fujisan>
per month
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Lol clearly fujisan doesn't know about UJD
<fujisan>
I rather just fap to porn than take the risk of getting lucky
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, I mean "do you and @slimegirlfriend have any plans for the evening", but I was trying to get that meaning across with fewer bytes. Mea culpa.
<jfhbrook>
have you considered a combination of condoms, IUDs and abortions?
<fujisan>
UJD?
<jfhbrook>
like maybe that sounds really cruel but like, there are tools here for maintaining autonomy for both members of a relationship (or a one-night stand even)
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gnomon: no I have no plans I am very nervous I can't figure out what to eocahhhhhhh
<fujisan>
condoms aren't failsafe
<jfhbrook>
but abortions are
<fujisan>
not e ven for STDs
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, gotcha, OK. Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to cause any further anxiety.
<fujisan>
like there are tons of girls that I would sleep with but don't want kids with
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Original plan was Hamilton; found out that was too impressive (don't want to scare her off)
<gnomon>
jfhbrook, abortions are not failsafe. The common procedures are very, very safe, but risks are never zero.
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, that was a DAMN GOOD PLAN.
<fujisan>
but in my age category they all want kids if they don't have them already
<fujisan>
ELLIOTTCABLE: are you a dad?
<gnomon>
dog dad
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
if I told you, I'd have to kill you
<fujisan>
lol
<fujisan>
I have been living alone for 10 years I'm not afraid of dead
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gnomon: ack
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
found out that was too expensive* WTF NOT "IMPRESSIVE"
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
dropping a grand on a first date is unwise. No matter how cute they are. >,>
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
fujisan: calm down geeze
<fujisan>
ELLIOTTCABLE: I didn't know coding paid that much
<fujisan>
hehe
* ELLIOTTCABLE
hugs fujisan
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
fujisan: aren't you a programmer? -_O
<fujisan>
lol I'm not depressed just when you live alone for too long you get lethargic
<fujisan>
I work for the gov. grant evaluations
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Didn't say you were clinically depressed โ: I'm just a hugger now.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
:P
<fujisan>
actually if you want to know the truth
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
well. Yes. Programming pays "that much."
<fujisan>
they hired me cause I have autism
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Dumbest, most overpaid job in the country ATM.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
although I'm currently unemployed and unengaged sooooo
<fujisan>
actually there are dumber ways to make more money
<fujisan>
I did get a nice xmas bonus
<fujisan>
but my wage is kinda low
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
fujisan: okay, I need to add a fujisan mode to purr's ghost
<fujisan>
but like Napoleon Hill worked for the president for 1 dollar per year
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
"Mute someone if more than N messages per minute, reduce N after every mute"
<fujisan>
and eventually he wrote a book that made millions while doing that job
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Pavlovian conditioning of your hypertyping :P
<fujisan>
so I guess I have a pipedream at least but like the famous poet, writer, drunk and human degenerate Charles Bukowski has engraved on his tombstone the ultimate truth about life 'DO NOT TRY'
<fujisan>
in real life I'm the most quiet person
<fujisan>
you will most likely encounter
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, how's the weather? Can you get away with a nice meal, a good walk+chat, and maybe a stroll through a museum or an art gallery?
<pikajude>
hmm
<pikajude>
I also get wages
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
all the good museums and shit here close early (ALTHOUGH WE HAVE A TON AND THEY ARE AWESOME)
<pikajude>
capitalism boys
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, or tickets to Waitress? (Also a damn good show, but probably more of a tearjerker than Hamilton.)
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, ah. Ack.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
and no, read up, the second abandoned plan was going outside, but it's Fucking Bitter Cold
<gnomon>
whoops
<gnomon>
Beg your pardon for missing that.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
sup waiters whassat
<pikajude>
alienation squad
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Waitressination Squad
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, hang on, are you into musical theatre at all..?
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
I'm so bloated
<fujisan>
theatre?
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gnomon: I mean I'm ready to drop a grand on Hamilton tickets, whaddya think
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
tbh I've only ever seen Wicked; but I loved it
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Have all of wicked, all of RENT, and most of Hamilton, memorized by this point, tbh
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
tbh be honest*
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
lookit me tryna use the kids' memes
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, that was my initial thought, but then you implied you hadn't heard of Waitress and I wasn't sure anymore.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
I haven't heard of it, what is
<gnomon>
Musical, based on the movie by the same name, written by Sara Bareilles. It's kind of really great.
<gnomon>
(_music_ written by Sara Bareilles, I forget the name of the person who wrote the adaptation)
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, got ~540MB free someplace where I could SCP a bunch of FLACs for you?
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Oh it's only in New York -_-
<jfhbrook>
what's only in new york?
<gnomon>
Isn't that also true of Hamilton?
<jfhbrook>
oh, broadway stuff
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
no, hamiltons in Chicago
<jfhbrook>
got it
<gnomon>
OH
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, I did not know that!
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
Jesus Christ I wasn't going to fly a girl to New York on a first date, is that what you thought I meant?!
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
I'm deffo not *that* baller
<gnomon>
Oh, right, Lin-Manuel left the cast a little while before they were supposed to go out on tour, I completely forgot about that.
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, that's what I thought, yes.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
omg
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
you've met me in person
<gnomon>
I have.
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
who do you even think I am D:
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
is it the tesla
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
goddamnit tesla
<jfhbrook>
I expected you to drive REALLY FAST
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
ljharb drives one too! *points accusingly*
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
See, now jfhbrook knows me. :P
<gnomon>
Hey man, different folks lead different lives, I try not to judge. (I've worked in IT for several large investment banks over the last decade or more, I guess I've kind of gotten a bit blasรฉ about folks doing things that register as really wild on the financial scale.)
<gnomon>
(bloody investment advisors, ugh)
<gnomon>
Anyhow, I'm glad your first date doesn't involve a plane trip.
<gnomon>
Supes awkward
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
gnomon: lmao well like private jet would be fun
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
maybe someday I'll do that, just for shits and giggles, to a girl I don't care as much about scaring off :P
<ELLIOTTCABLE>
or guy? hm
<gnomon>
heh
<gnomon>
(Overnight bus Toronto -> NYC, take in a show, overnight bus back that evening - no hotel, fun adventure!)
<gnomon>
(If you can sleep on the bus, anyhow. Otherwise it's like purgatory + road noise.)
<gnomon>
ELLIOTTCABLE, oh, speaking of musicals in Chicago, let me check my wife's tour schedule. Her show might be heading through your neck of the woods sometime.
<gnomon>
Aw, ni Chicago stop for the first month and a half. Well, maybe later in the tour.
<fujisan>
like if you go to the west and south side
<fujisan>
it's a 3rd world country according to locals
<fujisan>
like if I go there as a tourist I need an app that warns me which gang signs I need to flash to stay alive when people are approaching
<fujisan>
flashing the wrong sign
<fujisan>
can be lethal
<gnomon>
fujisan, I don't want to say I don't believe you, but you're describing something that is very difficult for me to accept.
<jfhbrook>
chicago *did* have a large number of murders--you can look that up
<jfhbrook>
but I don't know that even *that* number jibes with "more dangerous than afghanistan," whatever that means
<jfhbrook>
many tourists, for instance, go to chicago and stick around the "less dangerous parts" and get along just fine, I guarantee nobody I know that has visited researched fucking gang signs
<jfhbrook>
I can also tell you from experience that gangsters recognize "civilians" and mostly live-and-let-live
<jfhbrook>
you might get shaken down and/or mugged but even that's unlikely walking past some rando in broad daylight
<ljharb>
ELLIOTTCABLE: k, got myself a ticket
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